Let Kids Be Themselves

I read a blog today about moms comparing themselves to other moms.  You should read it! Here it is.    It triggered me to write this post that I have had on my "blog list of things to post" for quite some time now!

I recently got an email from BabyCenter on my 2 Year Old's growth and development.  I opened it like I do all of "those" emails I get.  (You know I signed up for like every kind of email when I was pregnant with her.)  I started to read it and it went something like this:

"Too tall? Too short? Too chubby? Too thin? As your preschooler grows and changes, it's natural to wonder how she compares."

I just focused on those words for a minute.  How my child compares... To who?  Other 2 year olds?  Other 3 year olds? Other genius 1 year olds?  I've only been a mother for almost 3 years and I've learned A LOT!  If you are a new mother, or even if you're a seasoned mother, I think you'll relate to this post.  I feel that the most important thing that I've learned is that every child is different.  Lila is different than her friends.  She's different than her cousins.  And Vivian is going to be way different than Lila.  It's funny that these sites send out these emails, some daily, some weekly, and some monthly saying your child should be doing this or that, or walking or talking or being an angel or a brat...I could go on and on.

I understand that doctors, scientists, and other professionals have done tons of research on the development of babies and children, but I still don't see how "they" can tell me that my child should or shouldn't be doing something.  Do they know my child?  Are they around them everyday?

Lila does things that I think there's no way she should be doing this yet and other things, like trying to pedal a trike is so complicated for her to understand.  Does that mean she's ahead or behind?  No, that means she's Lila.  

She didn't start crawling until she was 9 months old (which I thought was SO late), but started walking before her first birthday.  She had basically no hair until she was about 15 months old.  She could count to 10 before she turned two.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  All kids are really good at some stuff and not so good at other stuff.  We, as parents, must accept that and stop "comparing" their every move to the other kids.

It took me a little bit (ok, like 18 months) to realize this, so if you're a new mom, it may take a bit to get off this track, but you can do.  I promise.

Then comes the second child.  Poor thing...everything they do gets compared to what the older sibling(s) has done, when they've done it, and how they did it.  It took me a few months, but I've told myself I'm not gonna push things for Vivian to be on the same track as Lila.  She may crawl at 6 months and then not walk until she's 14 months.  Whatever she does, she'll be Vivian.  

I want Lila, to be Lila and Vivi to be Vivi.  Most importantly I want them both to know how proud I am of them of being them!

I hope they are always best friends!